Solitude In A Social World

introvert quote 2

The big buzzword of today in the life-coaching arena is “Accountability” – they suggest to tell the world what you’re “doing” by notifying friends and posting on social media to keep yourself accountable. I say bullshit, you tell the world what you’re doing and everyone wants to talk to you about it.

If you’re an Introvert like myself, you don’t want to tell the world what you’re up to. You want to be left alone to think, plan, and then you’ll be ready to talk. You select the ‘safe people’ to talk to about your goals and visions let them be your “confidant buddies”.

I’m an “outgoing introvert” which means, I make myself go out to meet people, try new adventures, and get out of my comfort zones. I love meeting new people, I love being around people, but I do not get my energy and creativity from people. I get that by spending time with myself creating ,expressing myself with Journal Writing, Vision Journals, Sewing, and Reading.

For years I have worried that people would think I was a little different – unique! I would have these self talks that would go something like this: “Cheryl, it’s okay that you didn’t want to go” or “it’s okay not to go, nobody want to be around someone not having a good time”. My mother was an extrovert, she never understood why I didn’t want to go with her on the weekends visiting all her friends (except for a few fun gals!). She never understood that it’s where she got her refuel, but I would sit there feeling empty.

“People empty me, I have to get away to refill”~C. Bukowski.

I’m a BTH (Back of the house) kind of person, I’m not looking for the spotlight. I like to facilitate – be that guiding person to make sure everyone has what they need to shine! I’m an approachable person, my husband says I’m like a magnet to certain people. Some people mistake that for me being this outgoing extrovert – when I’m really just being a nice, kind, and outgoing introvert.

We should start having conversations with people that we work and hang out with. The first question we should ask is, Where do you get your energy from, being around people or being with yourself?

Susan Cain  is my new hero, she truly knows what is going on inside of my introvert brain. Listening to her on a podcast a few years ago made me cry. It was the first time I felt like I finally was given a big “thumbs up” for being who I was, and that it’s okay to spend time with yourself recharging.

I think back to when I was a Preschool Teacher, I can think of five students I had that had these characteristics of an introvert. Those same students are now fourteen to sixteen years old, they’re at an age when the young tribe (teenagers) want to gather and plan what they will do for communication, engagement, and fun things away from their older tribal members (parents!). How wonderful would it be to communicate to parents and  future educators about what is observed when learning if a preschooler portrays the introvert or extrovert character traits? This information would be very informative when creating group activities, study groups, and other peer team-building programs.

Are you parenting a quiet child?

Where do you get your energy from? Take This Quiz

Peace & Harmony ~ Cheryl

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